R U OK Day 2021: Are They Really Okay?
While I do not believe that asking someone how they are doing mentally should be reserved for just one day per year, I do believe that the message behind R U OK Day is an important one.
Every year, on the second Thursday of September we are reminded to ask people how they are doing mentally with R U OK? Day. Today is that day! Unfortunately, only 37% of Australians are confident they know the signs to look out for if someone is struggling. Today is all about increasing that number, giving people the tools and the knowledge to arm them with the confidence to say R U OK?
What is R U OK? Day?
“Empowering people to meaningfully connect and lend support”
In Australia eight people take their own lives each day, meaning it is highly likely you or someone you know has been touched by suicide. R U OK? Day is about checking in with people and asking questions that we sometimes shy away from.
Every year R U OK? Runs a new campaign focussing on mental health and suicide prevention in Australia. This year the message of the campaign is “Are they really okay?”
The two most common mental health issues.
One in five Australians aged 16-85 will experience mental health issues in any given year, the two most common mental health issues are depression and anxiety. It is important that each and every one of us know the signs and symptoms of these illnesses, in order to know when to ask R U OK?
Signs of Depression
While I can tell you the signs and symptoms of these mental illnesses it is important to remember that a mental illness and struggle look different for everyone. No two cases are the same. You also do not need to display each and every symptom of a mental illness.
They no longer find pleasure and fun and activities that they once would have enjoyed.
They don’t like to socialise with people anymore, or they are always making excuses to avoid doing so.
You might notice they are sleeping more or less than usual.
They find it hard to concentrate.
They are more irritable.
They get upset more easily or more often, they get teary often.
They get defensive more easily or are more sensitive to comments.
Signs of Anxiety
Feeling nervous, restless or tense more than usual.
An overwhelming sense of danger, doom or panic.
A rapid or increased heart rate.
Hyperventillation.
Sweating, trembling.
Feeling weak, tired, overwhelmed.
Having trouble sleeping.
Racing throughts.
Having trouble concentrating on anything other than a current worry.
How do I ask if someone is OK?
Starting the conversation is probably the hardest part of asking someone if they are OK. I suggest starting with a simple “how are you doing?”- it is then up to the other person to open up. Don’t be scared of their response, your only responsibility is to listen, to be a comfort and to not be forceful.
Before you ask someone if they are OK, you should also consider your own mental wellbeing. Are you in the right headspace to help someone else? Its okay if the only person you can ask “r u OK?” too is yourself for the time being.
They’re not OK.. what now?
Okay, so you have asked the question and your person has confided that they are not doing okay, where do you go from here?
Listen to what they offer you with no judgement, interruptions or reaction.
Be patient, know when to stay quiet, but also know when to encourage the conversation with appropriate questions.
Encourage action- this action could be simply asking “how can I support you?”, it could be helping to find some professional support, it could be encouraging them to think about strategies for helping themselves.
Be positive, always be positive.
Don’t forget to keep checking in! This is not a once off thing, you need to check in every now and again.
Some professional resources
Beyond Blue- call 1300 22 4636 or chat online.
Black Dog Institute- online help
Headspace- online help for younger people
Lifeline- call 13 11 14 or chat online
