The Things I Can Tell You About Mental Illness
Mental health has been thrust into the spotlight this week after GOAT gymnast Simone Biles withdrew herself from the Olympic Games in favour of looking after her mental health. While I am a firm believer in mental health being an important topic all year round, not just every now and again, I felt it was a timely reminder to check in with the people around you.
We are currently living in quite an unstable world, lockdowns and global pandemics are making life much harder than we are used to. We were accustomed to this easy way of life and suddenly we have been pushed into uncertainty. You are forgiven for struggling within yourself in these times.
I didn't know what type of content I wanted to post today- did I want to warn you about how to look out for someone else's mental health? Did I want you to know the signs of suicide? What is the message I want you to take away from this article. I've decided on this- I want to tell you some of the things I know about struggling with your mental health. Maybe you'll read this and feel less alone, a little more understood. Maybe you'll read and share with your friend you believe to be struggling with their own mental health. Maybe, and I am hoping, this post will help someone see that they are not alone and there is no shame in seeking help.
I haven't posted a dedicated mental health post in a while, I feel almost nostalgic doing so. Don't be fooled- mental illness is a long game and choosing to focus on other topics on TIA has not made me forget that first and foremost this is a mental health blog.
What works for someone else may not work for you, and that is okay.
We are all different, we struggle differently, we are wired differently. One solution for you is probably not going to work for your neighbour, and it probably won't work for your best friend either. Different methods of treatment and coping work differently from person to person, there is no one, universal solution. Do not be discouraged that your friend feels great after each therapy session while you leave heavy and depleted. Don't be down on yourself that you know someone who can pull themselves out of a rut while you need three types of pills, weekly therapy and your dog for cuddles to do so. We are different.
2. Your past does not define who you are now, or who you can be in the future.
Mental illness will continue to tell you time and time again that you are not worthy because of past actions, it will dredge up things you didn't even give a second thought to at the time but now seem like a piece of a puzzle you were missing. You dwell, you spend a lot of time dwelling on the past. Clinging to it sometimes. But that person is not who you are now. You don't need to be that person. The past cannot be changed or altered, but it can be learned from.
3. You will need to rely on other people to get through the thought times.
Sounds scary, doesn't it? Letting someone in, letting them know you are struggling, you would prefer to keep it to yourself and go it alone- maybe that is what you are used to. There is no shame in letting someone in, accepting help, the fear is in your head. I have tried many times to "fix" myself alone, to get through without anyone being privy to the knowledge that I was struggling in the first place. I tell you now, with someone, or a group of people around you, by your side, your village- it is easier to get through.
4. It can get better.
When you're in a depressive episode, this is not the thing you want to hear. You don't want to hear that it will get better because when? When will it get better? How will it get better? You can't see a way forward and it feels redundant for someone, who is not in your position to be saying so. In hindsight, I know now that with work, things can get better- but only if you want them to. You need to put up the fight.
5. Mental illness is real, it is not just "in your head".
And you should get rid of anyone in your life who says otherwise.
Mental illness is very real, it affects many people and anyone who has not been touched by mental illness should count themselves lucky for that. Your mental illness is real, you do not need to justify it with excuses or reasons for being mentally ill. You don't need to convince people that it is not just in your head, leave them be, leave them ignorant. Your mental illness is real and that is okay.
Look after yourself, look after your family, look after your friends. Mental illness is hard. Made harder by the current state of the world. We will get through.
