In Memoriam of The 1102 Days Scott Morrison Has Been In Office

And the award for longest serving Prime Minister since John Howard ( a feat in itself, we all know the Australian government loves a leadership spill) is… Scott Morrison. 

The title, previously held by Julia Gillard for three years and three days, has now been turned over to Sco-Mo as he wakes up tomorrow morning on his 1102nd day in office. 

The latest date of the next election is not until 21st May 2022- still another 264 days away, leaving Scotty plenty of time to continue his reign of fucking shit up… to put it simply. 

In memoriam of the past three years and four days I thought it was only fitting to recap some of the utter chaos that Sco-Mo has caused since being sworn in on the 24th of August 2018. 

Does anyone remember the absolute shit show that was the Australian government at this time? Recap: Malcolm Turnball was PM when Peter Dutton challenged his leadership and was unsuccessful in succeeding Turnball. We then ended up with Scott Morrison as the compromise candidate, and eventually as Prime Minister. Ahh, what a time. 

That time.. Took a holiday in Hawaii while Australia was ON FIRE. 

Nothing like taking a family holiday while the country you are Prime Minister of was literally burning. At the end of 2019 Australia was saving a huge bushfire crisis with many states on fire and MANY people watching their whole lives be reduced to ash. Some would think that, at this time, the PM of the country would step up to the plate, be a source of strength for their country. Not Scotty though, he decided to take a family vacay to Hawaii.. As you do

That time.. He forced a woman to shake his hand while visiting fire-ravaged NSW. 

Not long after returning to Australia from Hawaii (I assume on the stern advice from his PR specialist) Scott Morrison took a tour of the NWS town of Cobargo- where a TV crew managed to get his good side. A young woman desperately confronted the PM asking for help from the Commonwealth, and in return received a forced handshake from none other than Scott Morrison. That will help rebuild her life, no worries. 

That time.. Jacinda Adern basically tore him a new one. 

Okay, this was too good to leave out, an absolutely iconic moment on behalf of the NZ Prime Minister, Jacinda Adern. Standing just two feet away from Morrison on the lawns of Kirribilli House, at a press conference while Ardern was on tour in Australia, she basically told the PM to stop pushing his problems onto her. Ardern was referencing the immigration law that meant the deportation of any NZ-born person if they were to commit a crime in Australia, no matter how long they had lived here. “We have a simple request – send back Kiwis. Genuine Kiwis. Do not deport your people and your problems”

That time.. Peter Dutton returned a positive test for COVID, but Sco-Mo didn’t need a test, even as a close contact. 

One rule for Australia, one rule for Scotty from marketing hey?

On March 13 2020, Peter Dutton, the home affairs minister returned a positive test for COVID, after sitting in a four hour cabinet meeting with none other than Sco-Mo. Peter Dutton was actually admitted to hospital for four days because of this COVID infection. 

That time.. An “administrative error” caused the JobSeeker blunder. 

When JobSeeker was announced in March of 2020 in response to the global COVID pandemic we were told it would cost $130 billion and would cover over 6 million workers- sounds fair enough. In May of that year a “significant error” was revealed in the subsidy as the estimates meant that half of the estimated people- just 3.5 million workers would be covered and it would only cost $70 million. “This is news you would welcome” He told us, despite the fact that far fewer people were accessing this money- but no we welcomed the news, obviously.

That time.. Sco-Mo announced an AstraZeneca deal that didn’t exist. 

God, this one must have been embarrassing. In August of 2020 the PM prematurely announced that Australia had signed a deal with AstraZeneca to manufacture their COVID vaccine.. However, he forgot to clear the deal with the company first. After the announcement, the company issues a statement basically asking “have we missed something?”. 

That time.. Or all the times Soctt Morrison has “not known” about rape allegations in his governement. 

Apparently, events as big as alleged rapings in Parliament House are “not mentioned” to the Prime Minister of Australia- as in the case of Brittany Higgins. There has also been cases of not contacting the victim of an alleged rape in his governement and not firing anyone involved with the event or the cover up. 

We could go on for a while about some of the dumb things the PM has said and done in the past 1102 days, but we might be here for a while. Here is hoping for an early election and getting Scotty from Marketing the hell out of here.