Coercive Control Is Not An Accident
Coercive control is now a criminal offence in the state of New South Wales. A perpetrator found guilty of coercive control can face up to seven years in prison. But what is coercive control?
The National Principles state that coercive control “involved perpetrators using patterns of abusive behaviours over time in a way that creates fear and denies liberty and autonomy.” A person who uses coercive control may use physical or non-physical behaviours or a combination of both.
The aim of coercive control is to make the other person dependent on them by isolating them to the point that they have no one else. It’s exploiting them, it’s depriving them of their own independence and autonomy, it's about power and dominance.
2.3 million women and 1.3 million men in Australia have experienced emotional abuse by a current or previous partner, while 1.6 million women and 745,000 men have experienced economic abuse.
Everyone who experiences coercive control is going to experience it differently. Obviously there are common behaviours and patterns, but the abuser often tailors their abuse to the specific victim.
It is not just limited to romantic relationships either, coercive control may be present in various relationships including between family members, a carer, a housemate. BUT it is only a criminal offence in NSW if someone uses it to control a current or former intimate partner.
There is a common misconception that coercive control ‘isn’t that bad’ or that it ‘isn’t that serious’ because there are often no bruises to show for it. This type of abuse is not defined by specific incidents, because perpetrators often use a variety of behaviours to exert that dominance and control. It can involve subtle behaviours that would be perceived as minor to someone on the outside looking in.
According to Relationships Australia there are twelve signs of coercive control, which they say is “a pattern of controlling and manipulative behaviours within a relationship.”
Isolating their partner from their support network, including friends and family. This includes limiting their contact with the.
Monitoring their partners activity throughout the day.
Limiting their partners freedom and independence. This might look like not allowing you to go to school or work, taking your phone, changing passwords etc
Gaslighting, the act of making someone doubt their own truth, experience and sanity by insisting that the other person is always right, based on lies and manipulating the truth.
Calling their partner names and maliciously criticising them.
Controlling finances and restricting access to money, this is a method of restricting freedom, and ones ability to leave a relationship. This might look like..
Strict budgeting methods
Limiting access to bank accounts
Not allowing credit cards
Extreme monitoring of spending habits
Insisting that their partner must take care of all domestic duties with no shared responsibility.
Weaponising children against their partner. This might look like making critical comments, belittling and telling lies.
Monitoring and controlling aspects of health and body. This can include controlling how much someone eats, sleeps and exercises. It might also include limiting where someone can go for medical help, or the medications that can be taken.
Pushing to phase out all external contact by making jealous accusations when their partner spends time with friends and family.
Regulation of sexual activity including demanding sex a certain amount of times per day or week, or demanding sexual activities be performed.
Making threats against their partner's children or pets.
Because coercive control is such a complex issue, it can be hard for the prevalence of the abuse to be measured effectively. This is because it occurs repeatedly, subtly and often over a long period of time. Data on coercive control in Australia is limited.
Coercive control is not an accident. All those little behaviours are deliberate, they’re calculated, they’re meant to manipulate you, isolate you, scare you, threaten you. They are making that choice.
